not a good day.

這幾日, o係學校發生左好多事.

我有個學生, 原來係俾學校界定為probation student, 由一開始training, 學校就會緊貼佢地的進度. 包括英文水平, training, 上堂.

我之前一直都唔知, 因為這係學生之前的instructor 不是我, 係從我回來後先接收佢.

我自己非常認同佢係屬於能力非常一般的學生, situation awareness 低, 英文能力低. 自信心不足,緊張.　

尋日同佢飛一轉, 真係嚇死我. 叫佢recover from spin, 淨係隻腳有動作, 隻手原來一直都冇control, 嚇親我的唔係點解佢咁做, 而係明明在地上briefing完, 佢已經知道procedure係點,但仍然在空中唔知自己做乜.(其實有後話/)

之後同佢做一個full rotaion, 即spin一圈, 我先做一次. 然後suppose佢跟住做. 誰不知我做完之後, 佢同我話驚, 唔想再做. 咁冇計啦. 我唔可以迫佢. 萬一因為恐懼, 心臟負荷不來, 仲大件事.

結果全程機飛返機場的時間,佢都非常靜, 粒聲都唔出, 我已經知道佢真係好驚. 算啦. 明白, 唔係個個人受到spins.問題就來, 如果佢克服唔到心理障礙, 佢唔可以繼續training.點算?

我對這個學生印象不差. 佢好尊重我, 有時早上飛,會特登去terminal 買coffee俾我(遺憾我唔飲得coffee), 下午飛, 又會拎隻banana俾我食. 學習態度非常良好, 永遠唔會遲到, 更經常早到, 更同我講, 其他同學話有我做instructor,佢感到好幸運, 因為跟我進度會好快, 為人nice, kind. 但係原來咁反而令佢感到壓力, 我之後再講點解.　　

昨日飛完之後, 剛巧有個meeting with my supervisor about my student's progress. i honestly told her what's going on in the aircraft, wt else i have found about flying with him.

my supervisor said they might have to send my student back to China due to the fact that his skills, knowledge are below standard. She added, they are going to put him on another 4 weeks probation and with an assessment at the end. If they cant see any improvement,he will have to go back to China. She also said not every one can become a pilot, she were the passenger, she wouldn't have the courage to fly with him. 

It's really sad. i have already flown more than a month with him, we have already built up a very good relationship. It will be really upset and devastating to see a student going back to China. Since i am a chinese, i totally understand being able to receive the flight training is the greatest opportunity to change their life. I also understand most of the students are not coming from wealthy families in China. They really need this job to support their family. 

But the supervisor insisted that this is,of course, a difficult decision but sometimes u have to make this kind of decision in your life. It's pain but still.

For me, nothing is impossible. i always believe if you work hard, u will get it. life is simple as it is. I will do whatever i can do to keep him stay in Canada. I swear to God. This is a challenge me and if it fails, it will definitely hurt my student's career. i accept the challenge and i will beat this game.

And today i had another meeting with both my student and another management official to talk about why my student cant move on to the next level.

It was a very emotional meeting. i could see the tears from my student. He said that he's always nervous in the air.He's afraid that he would upset me if he makes mistakes. He respects me ,he cares about my feeling but these exactly create him pressure. Also the students around him always say something bad about him, saying you have John(me) as a flight instructor, you are really lucky, you will be the 1st one to have your 1st solo etc. Again he's stressed. Another factor which increase his stress level is the family. he doesnt want to upset his family,he wants to finish the program with the licenses going back to China.  

I can see that he has so much concerns while he's flying with me, he cant focus on what he supposed to do.

And the report from the management states that he's timid and lack of confidence. i totally agree with that. He doesnt have the confidence to do something but confidence is exactly what we need as a pilot. I really dun know what else i can do to improve his confidence. I am a very relax person, i never yell at any of my students, i never show them an angry face coz simply that wont help their training but i eventually realised why he's so nervous coz i never show him a angry face , that's why he feels guilty. He thinks the instructor is so nice to me, i should do something to impress him.

Eventually i said something. i said it's really doesnt matter how i feel as your instructor. Simply i am a person never get pissed off in the air. It really makes sense if you make mistakes and that's the reason why you are coming to learn. If you made mistakes, we correct you.I also said dont ever care about what other students said about you. Dont ever give them a shxt!! what you need to do is to perform better and keep their month shut.

I think starting from now on, i will apply another method to teach him. I really wish he can stay. He has the passion but he just needs support from us. i wish my capability can do something to change his mind, skills whatnot.

Today i received another 2 students from a new group just arrived 2 days ago, meaning i will be really busy from now on.

Also the coming week, i have a lot of spin flights to do. i am really really sick of doing spins. i hate spins. i can manage to teach but still i dun like it.

the good thing is i am 50 hrs away from my goal so i need to suck it up. i dun care how terrify this exercise it. i need to suck it up in order to achieve my goal.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going!